


Five Times Water Worried Aziraphale and One Time It Didn't

by ahyperactivehero (ahyperactiverhero)



Series: i never knew anybody til' i knew you [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Asking for Holy Water Scene, Attempted Execution scene, Aziraphale's Thermos, Holy Water, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Apocalypse, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Scene: Garden of Eden (Good Omens), The Great Flood, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahyperactiverhero/pseuds/ahyperactivehero
Summary: Based on a tumblr prompt on goodomensprompts. Five times water has caused Aziraphale to worry about Crowley and one time it didn't.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: i never knew anybody til' i knew you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1388029
Comments: 65
Kudos: 331





	1. The Garden of Eden

Rain was something new. It had never rained before, as the weather at Eden had always been sunny and perfect and had never required such a thing.

Then Eve ate The Apple and she and Adam were forced to leave the Garden.

The demon, Crawley, was standing next to Aziraphale, watching the humans grow smaller and smaller in the distance. Aziraphale knew that he should say something, should probably shoo the serpent away from the Garden like his job description required. 

But none of that seemed to matter now. The humans he had been tasked to protect had been banished, and he was currently down a flaming sword. What was he going to do? Throw Holy Water on the demon?

Just as the thought occurred to him a flash of light seemed to strike from the sky to the ground with a loud rumbling coming soon after. It only took him a second to realize what was happening and in that second he raised his wing and held it over the demon next to him.

He’d heard talk about rain before while he was still in Heaven, but he’d never witnessed it before. And if this was God’s first rain on Earth, then it stood to reason that it might be Holy Water.

Crawley, for his part, scooted closer to the angel as if it were purely instinctual. His yellow eyes were wide as they stared at the rain pouring down, his shoulders hunched in to to pull his wings as close to himself as possible.

“What is this?” Crawley asked. Slowly, his hand reached out, his curious fingers reaching towards the water falling in fat droplets from the sky.

“Don’t!” Aziraphale said, far louder and with more worry than he had truly hoped to convey.

Crawley paused, his fingers less than an inch away from the rain. “Why?” he asked. There was a certain look in his eyes that reminded Aziraphale of some of the wild cats roaming around in the Garden, that spark of curiosity and mischief that seemed strangely innocent on the demon’s face.

Why should he stop? Why shouldn’t Aziraphale allow him to touch the water, even if it might be Holy? It wasn’t his job to save demons. God herself had already damned them, so why should he care about what might happen to him?

Crawley’s words from early bounced back in his head. _“Oh you’re an angel, I don’t think you can to the wrong thing.”_ He’d tried to reassure him before. It would be cruel to allow anything bad to happen to him after reassuring the angel. And Aziraphale was many things but cruel was not one of them.

“It, um, well, the water could be Holy,” Aziraphale said. 

A hiss escaped the demon’s mouth at that and quickly yanked his hand back and crept closer to Aziraphale. His eyes, that had previously been wide with curiosity before, were now narrowed in distrust as he huddled under the angel’s wing.

Aziraphale held one of his own hands out, letting the cool water flow over his hand. It didn’t feel particularly Holy, not like some of the water he’d sensed in Heaven, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t. 

Besides, the last thing he wanted to admit was that he had been needlessly worried over a demon. He was a Principality after all, and they didn’t worry over such things like that.

They stood together until the humans were long gone and the rain had finally ended. Hesitantly, Crawley stuck his bare foot out and lightly rested it on the wet stone next to them. When he didn’t instantly start melting into a puddle of goo he jumped away from Aziraphale and expanded his wings.

“Well, that was a thing,” Crawley said. Aziraphale could sense that he was wanting to say something more, perhaps a thank you, but that was just insane. Demons didn’t say thank you, especially not to angels.

“Yes, well,” Aziraphale said, also giving his wings a shake. “Don’t mention it.”

Crawley rolled his eyes. “Like I’d do that.” His gaze roamed up and down over Aziraphale before coming back to meet his gaze head on. “See ya around, angel.”

Aziraphale watched as he transformed back into a snake and slithered off to only Satan knows where. He tried to ignore the way his body seemed to finally relax at the knowledge that the water hadn’t been Holy and that the demon hadn’t been in any danger.

He also ignored the fact that he’d seemed so concerned about a demon in general. It wasn’t proper for an angel to care so much about a demon, even if angels were beings of love. 

At least Crawley was gone now. He’d probably never see the demon again, anyways.


	2. Noah's Ark

It seemed as though they were bound and determined to just keep appearing in each other’s lives.

“Hello, Aziraphale,” Crawley said, sliding up next to him.

“Crawley,” he said, barely acknowledging him. It wouldn’t do good to be one more than a named basis with the enemy. No need to make everyone think they were more familiar with each other than they actually were.

It seemed that Crawley did not share his point of view in the slightest. “So, giving the mortals the flaming sword. How did that work out for you?” 

Aziraphale glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.”

“Probably a good thing,” Crawley said, and seemed to genuinely mean it. He turned towards the commotion in the distance as Noah and his family tried to wrangle animals into the ark. “What’s all this about? Build a big boat and fill it with a travelling zoo?”

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you, what with you being a demon and all that. But… from what I hear, God’s a bit tetchy. Wiping out the human race. Big storm.”

“All of them?” he asked, looking over the family ahead.

“Just the locals. I don’t believe the Almighty’s upset with this Chinese. Or the Native Americans. Or the Australians.”

“Yet.” There was more than a bit of bitterness in his tone at that.

“And God’s not actually going to wipe out _all_ the locals. I mean there’s Noah up there, his family, his sons, their wives, they’ll all be fine.”

“But they’re drowning everybody else?” The disbelief was also heavier than usual.

Aizraphale nodded, more than a bit hesitant to do so. It’s not like he liked this part of God’s plan! It was just her will. And you didn’t go against her plan, even if you didn’t understand it. 

Crawley glanced around, instantly turning his head to the young kids playing nearby. They were laughing and running and playing with no clue that they would be gone before too long. “Not the kids, you can’t kill kids,” he said, his voice still somehow surprised.

Again, Aziraphale nodded, this one even more hesitant than before.

“That’s more the kind of thing you’d expect my lot to do,” Crawley said, seeming to consider the situation.

Demons question things. That was kind of their whole thing. They caused trouble and asked the wrong questions to the wrong people and were just in general a dangerous nuisance to everyone.

So why did Aziraphale, who prided himself on being a proper angel, find himself sort of agreeing with a demon?

“I didn’t get any say,” he said, as though he somehow needed to defend himself in the eyes of the demon. “But God’s promised this will be the last time. Oh, and when it’s done, the Almighty’s going to put up a new thing called a rainbow, as a promise not to drown everyone again.” He added the last bit a little bit hesitantly. Hearing the words out loud didn’t make them sound any better. In fact, they sounded worse than all the times he’d them over and over in his mind.

Maybe it was just Crawley messing this him. Demons could influence the way humans thought, so who’s to say that he couldn’t do it to an angel?

Crawley rolled his eyes. “How kind.”

Aziraphale glanced at him. “You can’t judge the Almighty, Crawley, God’s plans are-”

“Are you going to say ineffable?” Crawley asked, swiftly cutting him off.

“Possibly,” Aizraphale admitted, and dear Lord did this mean that he had an inside joke with a demon? What would they say Upstairs if they knew?

It wasn’t long after this that the rain started to fall, bringing the first drops that would soon turn into a deadly flood.

Aziraphale’s heart clenched at the sight of the rain falling, his thoughts taking him back to Eden as the first rain had fallen. There had been thousands of rains since then, but that didn’t make his fear of this one any less founded.

Just because the first rain hadn’t been Holy didn’t mean this one wouldn’t be. This was Divine Intervention after all, so wouldn’t it stand to reason that it just might be?

He glanced over to Crawley, his wings twitching on another plane, itching to break free and cover the demon near him even if he wasn’t quite sure why. They were enemies, there was no reason for him to feel so protective of him.

Crawley barely even paid any attention to the rain as it came down. Instead, he was turned towards the kids playing nearby, splashing in rain puddles as if this were just some ordinary rain. There was a strange look on his face, one Aziraphale couldn’t exactly place, but he knew that he’d seen it before. Never on a demon, but still, it was strangely familiar.

“I just can’t believe She’d kill the kids,” Crawley said, his voice low.

Despite the fact that they hadn’t known each other very long, Aziraphale could still tell that Crawley was beginning to plan something, something that would likely get the demon in a lot of trouble if anyone were to find out.

Aziraphale opened his mouth to say something, but found himself lacking anything worth while to say. What could he say to defend Her plans that he hadn’t already?

“I don’t know what you’re planning, demon,” Aziraphale said, trying to put the emphasis on the demon part to sound more intimidating (and failing at it). “But just know that I will have to stop you if it interferes with God’s plan.”

Crawley gave him a sharp toothed grin. “Oh, will you now?” he said. It wasn’t exactly a question, more like a challenge.

“Yes,” Aziraphale said. “That is my job.”

Crawley scanned him up and down before shrugging his shoulders. “I guess it is,” he said, although he didn’t seem to believe it. “See ya around, angel,” he said, the same thing he’d said before heading off before. 

Aziraphale watched as the demon left, his chest still tight. Water was already beginning to run in tiny streams in the mud, making Crawley’s exit less dramatic than he had probably hoped, although it did nothing to lessen the pressure in his chest. Even without the water being Holy, he couldn’t help but feel like there was something he had been missing about this encounter, something that the demon was planning that he hadn’t seen.

Crawley was smart and Aziraphale knew that. He could only hope that he’d be smart enough to get out of whatever trouble he was about to get himself into.

X

Given that way their paths tended to cross, Aizraphale knew that he’d see Crawley again. He just honestly didn’t expect it to be so soon.

Of course he’d earned a place on the Ark. A minor miracle here, a little bit of friendliness there, and he’d been allowed on board no problem. He hadn’t exactly been given orders to get on the Ark, but Heaven had told him to keep an eye on Noah’s family, so it only stood to reason that he would be on board.

What he hadn’t expected was to see a demon down below, snuggled up with a hoard of children.

“Crawley?” he asked, calling out to him.

One of the little girls cuddled up next to him raised a finger to her lips and hissed out a quiet “shh” to him. “He’s sleeping,” she said simply.

Aziraphale leaned a bit closer, trying to get a better look at the demon’s face. It did seem like he was sleeping, although Aziraphale had never seen him do so before. He’d also never felt the urge to do so, despite having been on Earth at least the same amount of time as Crawley.

“He got wet,” a little boy said sleepily. He rubbed his eyes and stared up at Aziraphale and his lip started to quiver. “He pulled me out of the water, but he went under.”

The little girl quietly butted in. “He was under for a long time, but when he came back up he got us all on the boat.” She looked down at her hands for a second, seeming to debate if she should say what she was about to. “Mommy went under, too. She didn’t come back up.”

His heart broke at the small voice carrying such sad words. It wasn’t fair to ask these children to bear such sorrow in the name of some plan that no one had any idea how it worked, but he also knew it wasn’t his place to question it.

That was a demon’s job. And look where that had gotten Crawley.

“Let me have a look at him,” Aziraphale said, scooting around the group of children. “I’ll make sure he’s right as rain.” He flinched at his own poor choice of words, hoping that the kids didn’t notice.

He stepped closer to the demon, his hand reaching out to check on him. He tried to ignore the way his heart skipped at the limp form lying in front of him, as it wasn’t helpful nor did he fully understand why it was happening. 

Sure, he didn’t want Crawley to die, but the feeling he had was more than that. It was similar to the feeling he’d had in Eden, but it seemed to be growing every time they interacted.

“Crawley?” he asked. The closer he got, the more he could hear his breathing, fast and shallow. He knelt down next to him, his fingers barely brushed against his skin when he noticed the slight shiver running through him.

His clothes were still damp, but miraculously (or diabolically, Aziraphale supposed) the children around him were completely dry and warm. It seemed to be only Crawley that was damp and cold.

Aziraphale knew that the demon was in no danger of dying. He was a demon for Satan’s sake. Something as small as a quick dip in some water (as long as it wasn’t Holy) and a little bit of a cold wasn’t going to kill him.

But that didn’t mean that his corporation couldn’t be damaged. Or that he wouldn’t get sent back down to Hell.

Which gave him such a strong, almost violent urge to fight against that happening that he couldn’t help the miracles that followed.

With a quick glance to the children, he snapped his fingers and instantly put them back to sleep. It wouldn’t do any good to have the children witness any of his miracles, after all.

“Crawley,” Aziraphale said, a bit more firmly.

“Angel?” Crawley said, and Aziraphale would be lying if he said that the strange nickname Crawley had attached to him didn’t affect him at least a little bit.

“You’re too cold,” Aziraphale said, choosing to ignore the way it made him feel. “You’re body is going to get sick if you don’t do something about it.”

“Can’t,” Crawley said, peering at Aziraphale with only one eye. 

“Can’t? What do you mean ‘can’t’?” Aziraphale asked.

“Too many diabolic miracles,” Crawley said. His voice was quiet, but not in the tempting way it usually was. Instead, it was just weak and tired. “No energy. Plus, Hell tends to disagree with the way I do things.”

Aziraphale scrunched up his brows as he moved closer to the demon. If Crawley wasn’t going to take care of himself, then he would just have to do it himself. “What do you mean, the way you do things?”

Crawley shifted just a bit and slid a child so that he was laying more across his lap rather than next to him as Aziraphale moved into the spot previously occupied by the child. This allowed Aziraphale to sit next to Crawley and lean up against the wall behind them.

“See, the way I see it,” he said, “Is that by saving these kids, I’m working directly against Her plan. Which is exactly what Hell does, right?” he shrugged a little, as if he couldn’t say any more than that. “But they don’t always see it that way.”

Aziraphale personally thought that saving the kids was a _good_ thing to do, which is probably why Hell was so against it, but he could also see Crawley’s point. It was hard for Heaven to claim to have an exact plan if Crawley was constantly changing it.

“Yes, well,” Aziraphale said, choosing to ignore that particular kettle of fish. “We still need to get you warmed up.”

He snapped his fingers and the water fully evaporated from Crawley’s dark clothes. His red hair dried as well, leaving it hanging in wavy curls around his face. A small, almost smirk like smile came over Crawley’s face.

“What will Heaven do when they find out that you’re taking care of a demon?” he asked in a sing song tone.

It wasn’t something Aziraphale really wanted to consider, so he honestly didn’t. “I highly doubt they’ll notice one little miracle. Especially with everything else that’s going on.”

The boy in Crawley’s lap sniffed and shifted positions, burying his face deeper into Crawley’s clothes. Gently, Crawley ran a hand over the boy’s head, a silent soothing gesture that helped to ease the boy back into a restful sleep.

“What do you plan to do with them once the flood is gone?” Aziraphale asked. “They’re parents are… well, they’re parents are gone, and it’s not like you can keep them.” He shot a glare in Crawley’s direction. “You can’t keep them, you know.”

Crawley let out a snort. “Of course I know I can’t keep them you knob.” He looked over the kids huddled around them and sighed. “But I don’t really have a plan just yet. Kinda making it up as I go, just seeing where I end up.”

The thought of just trying to wing something this important made Aziraphale feel sick, but at least they seemed to be on the same page. 

Crawley tipped his head back and lightly thunked it against the wooden wall behind him. “For now, I’m thinking a nap sounds pretty good.”

Aziraphale watched as the demon seemed to drift off to sleep. Before long his snores mixed with the sleeping sounds of the kids around them, all of them combining to make some weird chorus of slumber.

Slowly, Aziraphale could feel the tension he’d been feeling begin to fade. He’d been so worried since he’d seen Crawley outside the Ark that this was probably the first time he’d relaxed since then. 

He wouldn’t sleep, as sleeping seemed so unfit for an angel, but he would stay put and watch over everyone else’s slumber. It was practically in an angel’s job description to watch over sleeping children.

And if there just happened to be a sleeping demon among them, well, he wouldn’t tell anyone.

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter two is here! I really hope you guys enjoyed it!


	3. St. James Park

Angels had been talking lately. Gabriel had come down and spoken to Aziraphale more than once this year, which was very strange indeed, as he tended to go years in between his check-ins. Multiple check-ins meant that someone, somewhere was saying something about him that necessitated such visits.

He tried to not let it bother him, but the thought of someone speaking about him in less than favorable terms in Heaven made him worry. If only because of the company he had decided to keep.

At first he had considered staying away from the demon, but that never seemed to go the way he planned. Crowley had a bad habit of appearing out of nowhere when he least expected it.

Which is exactly how he ended up accepting a letter from the demon asking him to come to the park right away. There had been no prior arrangements, no plans from either side that he was aware of that might require them to meet up, but he couldn’t help the flutter of worry in his stomach. Was it too soon for the two of them to meet up after Gabriel’s meeting? Should he just tell the demon no and hope that that would be it for now?

Deep down he knew that there was no way Crowley would leave it at that. If he denied coming to the park he would suspect that something was up, and the demon was far more annoying and persistent than anyone he’d ever met. He’d probably be beating down Aziraphale’s door if he ignored him.

They didn’t even greet each other when they met up. Both of them were acting as if they had no knowledge that the other one was there, despite the fact that Crowley was literally the only thing he could focus on. 

He fed some of the waiting ducks some bread from his hat as he waited for Crowley to speak. He had been the one to call this meeting, so he should be the one to speak first. That seemed only fair.

“Look, I’ve been thinking,” Crowley said rather quickly. “What if it all goes wrong? We’ve got a lot in common, you and me.”

Aziraphale couldn’t help the small huff he gave at that. It was such an ingrained response to him that he didn’t even need to think about the words that came next. “We may both have started out as angels, but _you_ are fallen.”

He couldn’t help but feel a little relieved that Crowley didn’t actual seem to take offense to his words. “I didn’t really fall. I just, you know, sauntered vaguely downwards.” He paused, seeming to consider his words. “I need a favor.”

Aziraphale looked at him and tried to ignore the sad look on his face. He could tell that there was something upsetting him deeply, but there didn’t seem to be any sign of what it might be or what exactly this favor might entail.

“We already have the agreement, Crowley. We stay out of each other’s way. Lend a hand when needed.”

There was a tenseness to Crowley that Aziraphale had never really noticed before. Not in all the years that he’d known him. The feeling of worry was weighing him down, almost like a physically force in his stomach. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time, not in reference to Crowley. Not since…

“This is something else. For if it all goes pear-shaped,” Crowley said. 

“I like pears,” Aziraphale said, trying to steer the conversation away from the terrible feeling in his stomach. If he could just steer it away, back into safe territory, he could make a plan for what to do about Heaven seeming to be keeping a closer eye on him and figure out why Crowley was acting this way and-

“If it all goes wrong. I want insurance,” he said, deadly serious.

“What?” Aziraphale asked, the feeling in his stomach turning ice cold.

Crowley shifted awkwardly, this strange energy seeming to over take him. It was such a contradiction compared to the way he had been standing. It was like seeing a statue suddenly come to life and scan the surrounding area. “I wrote it down. Walls have ears. Not walls, but trees have ears. Ducks have ears. Do ducks have ears? Must do, that’s how they hear other ducks.”

Crowley handed him a folded piece of paper. It was never a good thing when he started rambling like that, especially not about people listening in. Had someone been watching him too?

He froze when he saw what was written inside. _Holy water_. He knew that hand writing, had seen it just about as often as his own. Goodness, the message sitting in his doorway, requesting him to meet Crowley here was written in the same handwriting!

It was as if the ice ball in his stomach had expanded out to all of him. “Out of the question.”

Crowley almost snorted. “Why not?”

“It would destroy you,” he said. The thought of that alone sent him back to Eden, back to the Ark, the threat of Holy Water being so strong that he had truly feared for Crowley’s life. And here he was, just asking for it as if it was nothing. “I’m not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley.”

Crowley flinched, almost completely unnoticeable, unless you knew where to look. Which Aziraphael did, of course. 

“That’s not what I want it for. Just insurance,” he said, almost hesitantly.

“I’m not an idiot, Crowley,” he said, his voice cracking. Usually, when that happened Crowley would drop whatever they were talking about, maybe even take him out for some special meal that one of them had heard about. Or maybe even show up later with a special book that he had been looking for at one point or another.

But he didn’t seem likely to leave this conversation as it was. Which meant that he might need a little bit more convincing for that.

“Do you know what trouble I’d get into if they knew I’d been fraternizing? It’s completely out of the question.”

Crowley bared his teeth at him. “Fraternizing?” It wasn’t exactly a strange sight for Aziraphale to see, but it was strange for it to be directed at him.

“Whatever you wish to call it. I do not think there is any point in discussing it further,” he said. There, that should settle it. And hopefully with that settled, the feeling of dread in his stomach would dissolve.

“I have lots of people to fraternize with, angel,” Crowley said, his voice harsh. Clearly he had taken Aziraphale’s comment to heart.

“Of course you do,” he said, again not even thinking about it. 

Again, he could practically feel the pain radiating from Crowley. “I don’t need you,” Crowley spat out.

“The feeling is mutual,” Aziraphale said. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Crowley said. Aziraphale didn’t even need to be facing him to know the mocking face he had in place while he said that.

Aziraphale spun around on his toes and headed off, but not before tossing the note into the water and watching it burst into flames.

Even as he walked away, the heavy feeling stayed with him.

Holy water. Holy water was only good for one thing to a demon, and that was to kill them. There was no reason Crowley should be requesting such a thing, not when it was extremely dangerous to him. Especially not when he was in such a state.

Out of everything Crowley could have asked him for, why on Earth did it have to be Holy Water? Crowley could have asked for the moon and he would have found some way to get it for him, but Holy water? That was completely out of the question.

They were just going to have to be more careful, or rather, Aziraphale figured, he was going to have to be more careful. He’d have to make sure that all of the Holy water on Earth was firmly locked up away from the demon, and that the rest of Heaven didn’t suspect anything of him.

He couldn’t allow Crowley to get anywhere near any Holy water. Not when he was in this state of mind. He’d seen Crowley’s black moods over the century, usually after some large scale event or a run in with someone from Down Stairs, but he’d never considered that he might…. that he would choose to do something so drastic like that.

 _He’d claimed it was just for insurance,_ Aziraphale tried to reason with himself. But it didn’t work.

Tears formed in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. It wouldn’t do any good for him to start crying over something like this. Not when there was work to do.


	4. You Go Too Fast For Me

London was a pretty small place. Well, not in population size, and not even in area, but it was certainly smaller than Heaven and word travels pretty fast for an angel. Especially when it comes to a certain demon and his demonic activities.

He had known that Crowley was unlikely to give up in his quest for Holy water, but he had certainly hoped that he would. Nothing had been mentioned the last time they had seen each other, but of course, there had been more pressing issues at the time.

His heart fluttered when he thought of seeing Crowley suddenly appearing as he’d hopped down the aisle towards him and those Nazi idiots in the church. It had been so long since they had last spoken, and since it hadn’t exactly ended well he’d expected it to be a lot longer until he saw him again. Instead, he’d been pleasantly surprised to see the demon come to his rescue yet again.

He’d tried to deny for the longest time that he cared for Crowley, cared for him deeply and wholly in a way that was not Holy for an angel to feel, but after that night he had had to admit his feelings. At least to himself.

So, with these new feelings in mind, he’d kept a special eye out for the demon. Crowley’d always had a flair for the dramatic, which tended to attract certain kinds of humans, and those kinds of humans were usually easily bribed for information.

It hadn’t taken long for a human to get back to him on Crowley’s latest scheme. Apparently the demon thought it wise to try and rob a church of Holy water.

And apparently his heart was still set on getting some for “insurance” even years later. He’d hoped that enough time had passed to change his mind, or that their reunion a couple of decades ago would have been enough to throw him off the idea, but it seemed as though he was wrong.

Which is how he’d come to appear sitting in Crowley’s car, trying his damnedest to keep his heart under control and the overwhelming sense of dread from taking over him.

He’d been lying if he said he hadn’t planned this conversation out in its entirety, rehearsed every line until he was sure that there was no way this could possibly go wrong. He needed Crowley on Earth, needed him in his life.

Which is why the thermos he had hidden in his pocket felt like a nuclear bomb.

“What are you doing here?” Crowley asked. He didn’t sound angry, and for that Aziraphale was grateful. 

“Needed a word with you,” Aziraphale said. He stared ahead for a moment, hoping that the neon signs in the distance might give him the strength that he needed.

“What?”

“I work in Soho,” he said, and promptly felt like slapping himself. Of course Crowley already knew that part. “I hear things. I hear you are setting up a caper to rob a church.” He looked at Crowley, trying to see past his dark glasses. It was a rare thing for him to actually wish that they were gone, but occasionally he would, just so he could read exactly what the demon was feeling. “Crowley, it’s too dangerous. Holy water wouldn’t just kill your body. It would _destroy_ you completely.”

The image of Crowley, turning into nothing but a disgusting puddle and smoke appeared in his mind. It was the first time in a long while that his imagination had gotten that far and it did absolutely nothing for his sanity.

“You’ve already told me what you think. A hundred and five years ago,” he said, almost dismissively.

“And I haven’t changed my mind.” And he never would. He would never get used to the idea of Crowley being so close to something that would kill him, wanting so badly to own something that would destroy him so completely that he could never come back. “But I won’t have you risking your life. Not even for something dangerous. So you can call off the robbery.”

He reached down into his coat and pulled out the thermos. Part of him was screaming, telling him to keep that thing as far away from Crowley as possible, while the other half of him was telling him that it was better this way. At least if he gave it to him he wouldn’t be drawing all the eyes of Heaven towards him by breaking into a church.

“Don’t go unscrewing the cap,” he said, half-joking, half-nervous wreck.

Crowley stared at him, disbelief written on his face. “It’s the real thing?”

“The holiest.”

“After everything you said?” Crowley asked. There was more to his tone than his words, something that Aziraphale couldn’t quite place. Admiration? Respect?

Adoration?

Aziraphale nodded. It seemed simpler than answering.

Crowley held the thermos in his hands so gently that it almost surprised Aziraphale. He was rarely what Aziraphale would ever label as “gentle” and usually preferred the loudest, most bombastic way of doing things, that seeing him handle the dangerous substance genuinely sent a small shot of joy through Aziraphale.

“Should I thank you?” Crowley asked. It was almost mocking, yet Aziraphale knew the demon would do it if he asked him to.

“Better not,” he said. It was too strange. Crowley always made it a rule to never thank Aziraphale. He claimed it wasn’t right for a demon to go around, thanking an angel. Instead, he would usually perform acts of thanks, like making a play popular or finding him the perfect dessert that Aziraphale loved.

It would be wrong to hear those words out of his mouth.

Crowley glanced around for a minute. “Can I drop you anywhere?”

“No, thank you.” Crowley’s face dropped. It happened so quickly and was fixed even quicker that Aziraphale might not have even noticed it if he hadn’t been watching for it. “Oh don’t look so disappointed. Perhaps one day we could… I don’t know. Have a picnic. Or dine at the Ritz.”

There was no way he could go anywhere with Crowley right now, not after everything he was feeling. He’d probably break down and then Crowley would know and if Crowley knew then that would mean that other people could find out and if other people found out then-

“I’ll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go,” he said. His voice was small in a way that he never associated with Crowley. It was sincere in a way that he’d only ever heard humans be. Over the years he’d heard plenty of humans confess their love to each other, announce their undying loyalty to their love in more ways than could ever be written down.

He knew that if he stayed in Crowley’s car that there would be no turning back.

The thermos was still in Crowley’s hands, carefully gripped in such a way that let Aziraphale know that Crowley was aware of how dangerous it was. He wasn’t treating this like a game, like Aziraphale had originally thought he had been a hundred years ago.

It still scared the shit out of him. The sincerity in his voice, the idea of handing him that which could literally destroy him, wondering what would happen if either side found out about such a thing... 

“You go too fast for me, Crowley,” he said. He hoped that Crowley couldn’t hear the fear in his voice or see the tears in his eyes. He could only hope that Crowley would understand that things just weren’t in alignment for them right now and would hopefully keep himself safe.

He’d managed to keep Holy water away from the demon for a hundred years. And now he’d just left it in his hands, sealed in a tartan thermos, hoping that the reminder of Aziraphale would be enough to prevent him from ever using it.

He’d keep an eye on him, in any case. Just a few visits every so often to remind Crowley that he was here, and to reassure himself that the demon was as well.


	5. Execution

Heaven had taken Crowley. Both of them had known that both sides were going to come for them, more than likely sooner rather than later, but that doesn’t mean Aziraphale wasn’t worried. So many things could go wrong. What if someone figured out that they had switched? What if their punishments didn’t fit the crime the way they thought it would?

Even with all of their planning, he still hadn’t expected to see the archangel Michael step into Hell carrying a pitcher full of Holy water and pour it into the bathtub in front of him. Holy water, yes, seeing it carried by an archangel like Michael, no.

It wouldn’t hurt him. He knew that. Almost everyone else in the room was more dangerous than the liquid sitting in the bathtub in front of him, yet he couldn’t help the shiver that went down his spine when he saw it.

A bathtub filled with Holy water. The perfect weapon of execution fit for a demon. This was only tested and proven by the poor lesser demon they’d dropped into the tub before him.

It was Aziraphale’s biggest fear come true. If they hadn’t switched places Crowley would be staring down imminent demise at the hands of Heaven and Hell’s combined forces due to a tub of Holy water. He’d known for years that Crowley’s special interest in the thing that could kill him would eventually be his undoing, would somehow bring about his demise all while Aziraphale was helpless to do anything.

Because that’s how it always felt. Like he was helpless. It had taken years to describe the feeling he’d had every time Crowley had so much as mentioned Holy water much less actually been around the stuff, but he was wildly aware of it now.

He was an ancient being with cosmic powers beyond most humans imaginations, who was immune to the substance before him, and yet he couldn’t help but feel hopeless and horrified looking at it. 

It was terrible that such a Holy thing could be used to hurt someone like Crowley. Someone he had come to love and respect and admire over the years, someone who didn’t deserve the Fall he took from Heaven but never let it stop him either. How could something that was supposed to be so good be something that could be used it such an evil way. Holy things weren’t supposed to hurt _good_ people, weren’t supposed to hurt people that _loved_ and _cried_ and _felt_ things like Crowley did.

There was no way a demon could survive submerged in Holy water the way Hell was expecting him to.

Too bad they hadn’t grabbed a demon.

Aziraphale knew exactly how to play all of this off. Crowley was always a smartmouthed, fast-talking, annoying being with a tendency to be over dramatic. There was no way that Aziraphale was going to disappoint with his performance as him.

He’d slid into the Holy water, enjoying the way that it felt on his skin and against his ethereal soul. Despite all the fears he’d had over the years about Crowley getting near the stuff, it still felt good to him. It still felt like home the same way books and tea and nice, sugary snacks did. 

_It shouldn’t feel this way,_ Aziraphale thought. It wasn’t fair that Crowley would never get to feel the warm, loving feeling of something Holy again without it burning his occult soul to dust.

He flicked the water towards the demons just for good measure. Despite his better nature, he took a small bit of satisfaction in the way they flinched back, aware of what the stuff could do to them. They deserved to feel at least a tenth of the fear that he had when he’d witnessed Heaven carry Crowley away in his body.

It wasn’t much longer before he was released. Hell wanted nothing to do with him, just the same way he was sure that Heaven wanted nothing to do with the Aziraphale stand-in in Heaven right now. They were finally free. Free to make their own decisions, their own plans, their own choices for the rest of their lives together.

The thought made him almost giddy.

He hurried out of Hell as fast as he could go, making sure to actually clear himself of any and all Holy water. It wouldn’t do to give Crowley back his face and sear it off with residual Holy water, after all.

Seeing Crowley, even if it was with Aziraphale’s face, was almost enough to knock the breath out of him. He’d never really felt like he needed to breathe before, other than what most humans expected from him, that was, but seeing Crowley made him feel as though he needed to gasp or cry or maybe some strange mix of the two.

“Angel,” Crowley said. It seemed airy, almost nonchalant, but Aziraphale could read deeper into it. He could tell that Crowley was just as excited to see him as he was, that he must have been worried the whole time, too. Not that Aziraphale had ever doubted that, but it was still heart-warming to witness it.

It hadn’t taken long for them to switch back. Aziraphale could feel himself suddenly relax once they were back inside their own respective bodies. His heart skipped a beat as he gazed over at Crowley, and he couldn’t help but enjoy having that happen in a good way.

“A tartan collar, really?” Crowley asked, toying with his collar.

“Tartan is stylish,” he said. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy seeing Crowley wear something in one of his favorite patterns. “So, Agnes Nutter’s last prophecy was on the money.” He smiled at Crowley, feeling quite proud of himself with his performance as Crowley. “I asked them for a rubber duck. And I made the archangel Michael miracle me a towel.”

Crowley laughed, a very genuine and wide smile splitting his face. It was rare to see him laugh so openly that Aziraphale couldn’t help but giggle as well. There was a certain pride to the fact that he had caused such joy from the demon.

“They’ll leave us alone. For a bit,” Crowley said once he had calmed down. "You ask me, both sides are going to use this as a bit of breathing room before the big one.”

Aziraphale scrunched up his brow. “I thought this was the big one?”

“For my money, the real one will be all of us against all of them,” he said, gesturing to all of the other people in the park.

Aziraphale glanced back and forth between the people and Crowley. “You mean Heaven and Hell against Humanity?”

Crowley shrugged. Crowley was always the one who seemed to have a plan in mind for every circumstance, so to see him shrug made Aziraphale a bit worried.

But he wouldn’t let it get to him. They were safe now. Crowley and he had both avoided their executions and there was no reason for either side to be coming after them any time soon. And if that meant that when the big one happened that he and Crowley would be left to side with the humans, well, he’d had worse odds before.


	6. The Beach

It had been months since the not-so-end of the world, and Aziraphale was positive that he couldn’t get any happier than he was now. He had his bookshop back, his freedom, and his demon to do with as they pleased. Every day was an open opportunity to do things that they had never had a chance to do, whether because they had been too busy or too afraid didn’t matter now. They had the rest of their lives to do things together.

And apparently Crowley had decided that meant going to a beach.

Aziraphale himself had never been particularly fond of the beach, but if that was what Crowley wanted to do, then that is what they were going to do.

“It’s what people do on their honeymoon, angel,” Crowley had crooned in his ear, all soft and sweet and honey-like in a way that had never been directed at Aziraphale so openly before. Little did Crowley know that there were few things on Earth (or in Heaven or Hell) that he wouldn’t do to hear that sound from the demon again.

It wasn’t exactly a honeymoon in a traditional sense, seeing as how they hadn’t truly gotten married yet, but Aziraphale hadn’t pointed that out. He doubted it would have made any difference to Crowley either way.

“Look at that water,” Crowley said. He waved his arm out at the ocean stretching in front of them, just one of the stops on their journey around the Earth together. The beach was completely empty, definitely a diabolical miracle at work there somewhere.

“It’s certainly beautiful,” Aziraphale said quietly. The waves were gently rolling in, the kind of sound that would be heard on one of those insomnia tapes Crowley sometimes turned on before accidentally leaving them in the Bentley.

“Got nothing on the view I’ve got right now, though” Crowley nudged him, his eyes never leaving Aziraphale. 

A blush came to his face. Even after months, it was still a surprise and sometimes a bit embarrassing to hear Crowley talk so openly about him in such a way. Pleasant, but surprising.

“Oh, hush,” Aziraphale said, swiping at his arm. 

Crowley easily moved out of the way. He stood up, his lanky form stretching, just sunning himself in the early morning sun. He couldn’t help but remember the long, dark serpent he’d met so long ago in the garden as Crowley turned around to hold a hand out to him.

A fond smile on his face, one that was beginning to become a consistent look the more time they spent together. “Wanna go for a swim?” 

Aziraphale briefly felt the old flash of fear he used to get when he thought of Crowley near water. It was different now, though, Heaven and Hell were done with both of them, at least for now. There was no reason for him to fear Crowley getting near any sort of water, much less a body of water as large as the ocean.

“I didn’t bring anything to swim in,” he said, as if that might somehow dissuade Crowley. He was “dressed down” as Crowley had labeled it, in something a bit more modern that he didn’t actually mind if it got ruined by the sand at the beach, but it still wasn’t common beach attire. Maybe if an ancient history or English professor had somehow gotten lost on the beach, but otherwise, no.

“Neither did I,” Crowley winked.

“No,” he said.

“Aw, come on,” Crowley groaned. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him. “Somehow, I think I do.”

“Okay, so maybe you do,” Crowley said, flopping back down next to him on the beach. He dug his fingers into the sand and balled his fists up until he had a slightly damp, half-formed ball of sand in his palm. “Would’ve been a pretty fun idea.”

Aziraphale couldn’t help the huff that escaped him. “Your ‘fun ideas’ usually have pretty bad endings.”

Crowley’s lip poked out in a pout. “Says you.”

They sat and stared out at the ocean. Endless waves came and went, with so much time passing Aziraphale had almost been sure that Crowley had completely dropped the idea of swimming. 

He should have known him better than that.

“Well, I’m going in either way,” he said. He stood once again and brushed the sand from his backside, although it didn’t do much to help. 

A smile that was brighter than the sun was sent in his direction before Crowley turned his back on him and headed towards the water. The waves had reached his knees before Aziraphale stood, without even meaning to, and chased after him.

He’d meant to just catch up to him, but his feet slid on the slick sand and sent him crashing into Crowley’s back. With a yelp, both of them tipped headfirst into the waves.

The water was cool, probably cooler than either one of them should be sitting in, but neither one of them seemed to even notice. Crowley’s glasses had fallen from his face at some point during the collision, leaving his bright yellow eyes staring at Aziraphale in a mixture of shock and amusement.

Crowley’s mouth opened, probably to say something smart or witty about Aziraphale joining him, but he didn’t get a chance, as Aziraphale had leaned forward and pushed him until he was leaning back on his arms and kissed him.

It wasn’t their first kiss, not by a long shot at this point, but it was more than enough to shut Crowley up. His eyes had widened a little at first before closing and leaning forward into the kiss. One of his arms stayed behind him, helping to prop the two of them up, while the other reached for Aziraphale’s sweater and wrapped his fingers in it.

Aziraphale kept a tight grip with both of his hands on Crowley’s shoulders, trying to send all of the love he possibly could through their connection. Demons weren’t supposed to be able to feel love this way, but Crowley had always been different and Aziraphale had no doubt that he could feel what he meant to him at that moment, even if it was only because Crowley and Aziraphale both wanted him to be able to.

Crowley’s head tipped back, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “Angel,” he said softly. “I think we should get out of here.”

A shiver went through Aziraphale, and not just because of the cold water. “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, my dear.”

He leaned into the kiss again, this time actually knocking Crowley back fully into the water. 

This is what he’d always wanted, even before he’d realized that himself. No fears, no worries, just the two of them against the rest of the world.

The salt water burned his eyes, but he insisted on opening them, just so he could get a glimpse of how Crowley looked in this moment.

His eyes were closed, his dark lashes resting on his cheeks like dusters. Tiny freckles that Aziraphale had almost never noticed before seemed to be more prominent under the water, the strange lighting seeming to bring them to the surface. His red hair had lost its normal shape, instead taking on a looser, softer quality to it that made it almost irresistible. He just barely held himself back from running his fingers through it.

All in all, it made him look utterly sublime.

How had he ever feared mixing Crowley with water when it made him look this marvelous? 

It made him wonder how he would look to kiss in other types of water like soft rainfall with tiny clouds coming from their mouths due to the low temperatures, or maybe a warm, steam-filled shower to warm themselves up after a long walk in the cold?

Either way, they had the entire rest of their lives to figure it out. And Aziraphale would be damned if he said he wasn’t excited to try.


End file.
